Well, you know it must be true, since I got it from this
website:
It’s not fair, really, to make fun of these people, since
shouldn’t I be picking on people—intellectually—of somewhat similar size? There
are, after all, a lot of intelligent, thinking Christians, who have to put up a
lot of crazies purportedly of their ilk, and do they need me to join the fight?
Of course not.
But I was driven to the Landover Baptist Church by a photo I
had seen in Facebook:
Facebook is a tease, so once I had looked at that, I had to
look at the other stuff, and thus learned that the Bible condemns
left-handedness either four or twenty-five times, depending on whether you
think that a prophet separating the saints from the sinners—and guess what side
each was!—was specifically a condemnation of the left hand.
Right—so I had to occupy myself with that, since it seemed my
work of this morning was to tell you all about the Duggars, which was a
problem, since everyone but me knew who they were. Why? Because other people
watch TV, and so could see the reality show, Nineteen Kids and Counting, which
was all about Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar, of Fayetteville, Arkansas, and the
19—and counting—kids. All of whom are being raised in a “Christian patriarchy”
home, about which I didn’t know anything, except that I did, since the whole
thing has been around forever. Basically, anything that goes in Saudi Arabia
for women and men goes in “Christian patriarchy” as well. Oh, wait, women can
work and run for office in Saudi Arabia—in Christian patriarchy, women can’t.
So the Duggars have for the last ten years been exhibiting
themselves on television, and we’ve all been able to see that wonderful,
wholesome family environment in which alcohol, holding hands, kissing, frontal
hugs are banned, and even some sorts of learning as well, since of course these
nineteen children can’t go to public schools—certainly a good thing, from the
taxpaying point of view—but have to be specially homeschooled, using such
worthy pedagogical devices as ACE, or Accelerated Christian Education. Well, it
was a Tuesday morning chock-full of discoveries, of which
this is the latest:
The ACE curriculum (in "Biology 1099")
asserts the existence of the Loch Ness monster as fact,
declaring it a plesiosaur,
and uses this "fact" to disprove the theory of evolution.[20] In July 2013, this
reference was removed from new textbooks published in Europe.
OK, Wikipedia, tell me—does this mean that the kids in over
6,000 schools in the 145 countries, if not in Europe, are being taught that
that the Loch Ness monster is real, but evolution is not?
Well, of course the Duggars would buy into the Accelerated
Christian Education, especially since they must be of the belief, as the
presenter is in the video below, that “these are exciting but challenging days
in which to live and serve God!”
Yes, challenging, since it has just been revealed that Josh
Duggar, the eldest of the 19 and counting, had “forcibly fondled”—and is it
just me that wonders if that’s not an
oxymoron?—five of his sisters. Nobody, in fact denies it, and Josh has
had to give up his job at the Family Research Council—one wonders if the
research is on the same level as believing in the Loch Ness monster—and even
take down his website. Oh, and TLC has suspended the show.
All is not lost, however, since Josh has the support of his
family, and even Mike Huckabee—his longtime pal—since here’s the deal: Anyone
can sin, and if he or she repents and turns to the Lord, then bam, we gotta
forgive him. Because none of us are without sin. And by the way, Josh’s errancy
was wonderfully beneficial in the end, since it forced everyone in the family
to turn to Jesus, and their faith is all the stronger for it! Wow—great!
It’s distinctly screwy, somehow, though maybe not, since
apparently there’s also a belief in Christian patriarchy that women have an
innate evil that leads them to tempt otherwise pure men to do such dastardly
things as fondle—forcibly—breasts. So Josh, was he really all that guilty? Oh
course not—he’s just one more victim in that well-known crusade by the liberal
gay agenda to…get ready, here…criminalize Christianity!
Well, I’m liberal and I’m gay, but I do draw the line at
criminalizing Christianity. But I do have to wonder whether we still have
truant officers, and if so, whether that can’t be told to go after children
whose parents are teaching them that the Loch Ness monster….
Right—forget that.
Go after the parents!
