Plus ça change...

Well, well—time to dust off the high school French, which I did by consulting, as always, Wikipedia. So here it is: plus ça change, plus c'est la même chose. Or I suppose I could tax my brains a bit and figure out who said—in Latin—that there is nothing new under the sun.

Certainly not the Caribbean sun, shining so brightly on tourists and dropping conveniently away when it’s time to do what we do very well down here.

Smuggling.

Here’s how it works. We send up the drugs. You send down the guns.

That white powder that isn’t talc but is occasionally mixed with it has to come through somewhere. It used to be Mexico, but then things got a little hot up there. So the game changed to Puerto Rico, which famously, in the words of an early 20^th century US Supreme Court decision, is not the United States but “pertains” to the United States. (Anybody up there who can explain that, please give me a call. Been wondering for years….) In other words, no customs. If you can get the drugs in, you can send them in any aircraft, cargo container, or package through the US mail or FedEx.

So the drug traffickers have recreated the Middle Passage, though in this case it’s South America to the Caribbean, not Africa, and now it drugs, not slaves. But don’t imagine that it was Sam Walton who dreamed up logistics, though he did further it a bit. Nobody loves an empty ship.

And here, I take a deep breath and concede—maybe—a point to the NRA. “Outlaw guns and then only the outlaws will have guns!” they cry. (Nice turn of phrase, hunh? Great little marketing slogan….) Because Puerto Rico has probably the strictest laws in the nation about guns.

For one thing, they’re not considered a right. But let the Orlando Sentinel tell the story:

Buying a gun legally in Puerto Rico takes six to 18 months to complete paperwork and convince a police board that the applicant needs a gun. Puerto Rico does not consider gun ownership a right, said Edgardo Nieves, Rossello's spokesman.

By comparison, Florida residents only need to turn to a flea market, gun show or their newspaper's classified advertising section to buy without restriction.

And happily for everyone but the victims, it’s quite profitable. You buy a gun from Craig’s List for three hundred bucks, and you can sell it for three or four times as much on the streets of San Juan.

Well, with a deal like that, everybody wants in, right? So you’ve got your own little business started and established—a punto that is selling cocaine and heroin and god knows whatever else. And then some punk decides to move in on your territory. You gonna let that happen?

Fortunately, there are people who can help you. Sure, it costs, but money is not a problem. This is a business expense.

Now there used to be a little honor—the hit man killed in the punto, not stores or restaurants, or anywhere they could find the intended victim. So if you weren’t suicidal, you stayed away from the puntos. Now, if you’re not suicidal you stay home.

Two points. I may not be ready to concede the logic of “only the outlaws will have guns” to the NRA. It may be if the rest of the nation had our strict gun laws, there wouldn’t be the price difference that makes trafficking them into Puerto Rico so attractive. It might also be that there would be far fewer guns in the fifty states.

Second point—I read yesterday about the Mayors Against Illegal Guns. They are a significant group of 800 mayors; the mayors of Clairon, Clarks Summit, and Felton—to name three towns in Pennsylvania—have all signed a pledge. They’re gonna fight illegal guns, which make up the vast majority of weapons in Puerto Rico.

Well, we have a new mayor in San Juan, a lady who is busy trying to come up with the 800 million dollars that she needs to run the city. That’s daunting.

But what about the old mayor? The guy that put up all the signs announcing the projects that never got the money to get done? He’d been around for 12 years; in that time, why hadn’t he signed on? The group, by the way, is headed by the mayors of New York City and Boston. So they found the time…..

I’ve written about two of the three ingredients in this explosive stew. Here’s the third…

…money.

When the 87% Don't Matter

For reasons that should puzzle no one, I’ve been worrying my head about gun control.

It seems most people favor it. The Brady Campaign—right, of course I’m choosing my preferred choir to sing to me—comes up with a figure of 87%. Well, that seemed abnormally high, so I decided to check it out.

Apparently, we can agree on some stuff. “71% of Americans believe that stopping gun violence is ‘a very important’ goal,” says the study, done by Greenberg Quinlan Rosner Research and the Tarrance Group in 2008 for the group Mayors Against Illegal Guns.

Right—did they ask about motherhood and apple pie?

Things get a little trickier the more specific you become. Almost 60% of Americans favor stricter laws. 87%—probably where the Brady bunch came up with the number—favor background checks on guns bought at gun shows. Oh, and 89% believe that we should prohibit gun ownership to people on the terrorist watch list (really would like to talk with that 11% who think that suspected terrorists should have guns…or maybe not…).

Here’s the conclusion of the report:

This survey shows that many Americans overwhelmingly favor common sense measures to cut down on the prevalence of illegal guns in the country. While most Americans support gun rights, people view their support as compatible with targeting illegal guns and fighting gun violence. 

Hey, great! We’re all pretty much on the same page. We can clear up a few loopholes—c’mon, guys, you gotta do a background check in a shop but not in a show???!—maybe have a little pitched battle about assault weapons, pass a nice little bill and still get home for lunch.

Wonderful!

What’s the problem?

Not the opinion of the American people. Two days ago I signed a generic petition appealing for gun control. I was somewhere in the 58,000 area. Goal was 100,000. And last time I checked, it was going strong with a new goal of 350,000.

So what’s missing?

Sorry—just couldn’t help it.

And neither can the congressmen, either—who are sucking, most of them, from a very full teat called the National Rifle Association. Which is spending five to ten times more money than the gun control groups.

So with so many Ben Franklins on or under the table, who is gonna vote for banning assault weapons? Remember, a politician’s first job is to get reelected.

So the click of a mouse on an Internet petition may not be enough. Readers of this blog, stay tuned. My next project?

whoownsyourcongressperson.com