Showing posts with label Schizophrenia. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Schizophrenia. Show all posts

Friday, January 4, 2013

From Cardboard Bicycles to the Voice of God

One of the strange things about being a blogger is that you frequently start out fully intending to write about one thing, and then discover yourself compelled by what seems a better, more interesting affair.

Though the first intention—an Israeli guy who’s making cardboard bikes—is pretty interesting. The cost alone is amazing—he estimated each bike will be less than fifteen US dollars. Most people pay more for a good bike lock than that.

I know all this because the good Taí sent me a link about the bicycles from The Economist. And it seems that the inventor, Izhar Gafni, has done his damnedest to use everything recycled. The hand bars are derived from Coke bottles. The chain is from recycled car rubber, as are the wheels. The frame and most of the rest is made up cardboard, which Gafni has folded, to increase strength. After that, he applies a resin to increase resilience, and waterproofing.


The low cost makes the bike a godsend for poor countries, since transportation is often a critical problem in the lives of poor people. I looked it up, in those days when I was championing everything from green roofs to the Lion’s Club eye glass donation to making an actual windmill be the star in Wal*Mart in the sign outside our stores.

Bicycles for Humanity—an organization starting in 2005, has shipped over 45,000 bikes to Africa. That’s not nothing. For a culture based on cars, the bike is a toy. But here’s what the organization says in its webpage:

A bicycle solves the problem of mobility and helps empower people to change their life. The mobility a bicycle provides allows people to travel greater distances in a shorter length of time and transport much more weight. Mothers can carry containers of water back to their village in a fraction of the time walking required. Students get to school faster saving precious daylight for studies. Parents transport more items to market to sell. Healthcare workers are 3 to 4 times more productive.

It’s estimated that ten million bicycles are dumped in landfills in Europe and North America. But these bikes are critically needed in Africa, and other developing nations.

Well, in those long-gone days of my bearing the standard of sustainability at Wal-Mart, I would have proposed something like this. Wal-Mart donates all its cardboard—or at least that usable for the bikes—to a local factory set up to produce the bikes. Wal-Mart also provides support for marketing, human resources, finance, and logistics. And of course, for every bike purchased at Wal-Mart, Wal-Mart donates a cardboard bike for the kid in Africa who needs one.

In those days, ideas like the one above came as regularly as flies to a picnic. And, like the flies, the ideas were always swatted down. One of the first victims of corporate positivism is the shadow side—a negativism to anything that is new and—especially—not vetted by the boss.

In fact, for all the thinking outside the box that we were always adjured to do, there were people who practiced rote inside the box. Because it’s not only possible to make bicycles from cardboard, you can actually make furniture from paper.

Or at least papier—as in papier mache. It was quite a Victorian thing, like the horsehair upholstery used on couches. And primarily it was tables and decorative objects. But not always—check this out:


Nice, hunh? And since it’s been around since the mid-nineteenth century, pretty durable, as well. The British Victorians, it seems, listen to offbeat ideas at bit corporate America.

What some people listen to, it also turns out, is the voice of God.

I know this because it really seemed unlikely—could I make a post out of a cardboard bicycle? I’m only on page two here, and 639 words. So I was trawling, looking for something with a little more heft than just a bicycle.

CNN came sailing through, as it so often does. And who could not click on a link, “My Take, If you Hear God Speak Audibly, you (Usually) Aren’t Crazy.” Clearly a thing to check out.

Full disclosure—I have had an audible hallucination. By which I mean I perceived a voice that was exactly the same in feeling and experientially as the voice of Mr. Fernández, each night, three feet away from me at the dining room table.

And in fact it was Mr. Fernández’s voice that I though I heard, saying the words that he says every night to his favorite cat, Kitty.

“Yo,” I shouted.

No response.

There was nothing eerie or uncanny about it. He simply wasn’t there.

Nor am I alone. About one in ten Evangelical Christians say they have heard the voice of God, according to T. M. Luhrmann. Gallup, in 1999, reported that 23% of Americans had heard a voice or seen something that was not there in response to prayer.

Nor is it only God we’re hearing. A surprising number of people report hearing the voice of a person they have lost, and are grieving. Twenty-eight percent, according to one study in Wales, over 60 percent, according to Dr. Phil.

In contrast, the rate of schizophrenia—the hallmark of which is hallucination—is only about 1%. And the messages / hallucinations tend to be different—the messages coming through prayer are filled with peace and love. Psychotics tend to hear quite the opposite.

Well, it’s a curious topic—what’s real and what’s not. There are also, by the way, negative hallucinations—when you don’t perceive something that is there. They probably happen a million times a day. How many times, when I was practicing the cello, focusing so intently on the music, did I lost sight of the actual cello—the reddish-brown varnish, the nick on the purfling—that I was playing?

And there are a number of diseases and conditions that can produce hallucinations: epilepsy, migraines, steroids, even too much caffeine.

Come clean. Besides that one hallucination, I’ve come very close to others. It was in my darkest moment on depression, and it felt as if only enormous willpower could keep me from changing my thoughts into voices. I was, I think, at that threshold where thought becomes voice.

Better minds than my mind will figure it out. In fact, one of them—Oliver Sacks—is soon to be out with a new book entitled Hallucinations. So he may prove or disprove my theory: the center for recognition of oral speech (that is, the voice speaking next to you) is very close to and intimately linked to the center that processes words, including the words that form our thinking. Sometimes, with stress, fatigue, varying chemicals and different diseases, the connections are lost, or jangled. A thought becomes a voice.

Well, why not? We live in part in a land of mystery: a thought becomes a voice, or a form, like the vision of Jesus after his death. Oh, and also a more prosaic land, where a cardboard box becomes a bicycle.

Which, for a kid in Africa, might be both a mystery and a miracle.

Saturday, December 15, 2012

With a Nod to Shirley Jackson

It’s curious to think about—I’ve probably spent more time listening to this song than Schubert spent writing it. The manuscript is, if the website I stumbled upon can be trusted, a single sheet of paper. It was published some two decades after it was written. Liszt transcribed it—as he did so much else—and Primrose as well. Not surprising, if you’re a violist, you gotta do a little borrowing to fill in the repertoire.

That was a cool, cool paragraph written on the day after a bloodbath. And by cool I mean not hip but emotionally chilly, neutral, stepped-back and slightly ironic.

Which is not how the rest of the nation is feeling. People are in shock. The New Day has discovered that a little girl with connections to a town on the east side of the island was killed. Boricua Blood in the Tragedy screams the front page today.

And people are saying the usual. Evil, we are told by CNN, visited the town of Newton, Connecticut, yesterday.

Yeah?

Or was it a paranoid schizophrenic who had access to semi-automatic rifles?

I’m skipping this one. I’m assuming that if we had wanted to do something about it, we would have. I’m forced to conclude that there is something in my countrymen that wants slaughter, that relishes in the bloodshed, that thirsts to see anguished families and a weeping president and destroyed lives.

Why don’t we celebrate it?

The Spanish—a more honest people—go happily to their bullfights, and delight in seeing the bull downed in a pool of blood.

Well, we could do the same thing. Every Saturday, at random, a school somewhere in the nation is picked—will it be yours? Your children’s? Your grandchildren’s?

No matter, Friday night you will not sleep. Little children will beg to sleep with their mommies. “I’m scared, Mommie,” they’ll whisper.

Go back to bed, it will all be all right.

But you’re not sleeping either.

Because after all, it could be your child, your daughter, your sister.

Right, school chosen. Now we have to know the grade, the classroom.

Hey, do it in real time.

Add some excitement to the game.

How long does it take for the killer to walk from his home to his car? How long is the drive? How long to search for parking, to unload the guns, to pull the mask over his face?

Half an hour?

Forty-five minutes?

Right, so now we have the kids in the school. Everybody is there—teachers, principal, kids. Everybody is in their places.

Waiting for the slaughter to begin.

The media is filming. Relieved parents in other towns all across the country are cracking the first beer.

Better than Monday Night Football!

It’s old, our bloodlust. The Romans, seeing the Christians fed to the lions.

The gentry, viewing the mad raving at Bedlam.

Maybe it’s time to say it. We love to see the young butchered, the blood splattered on the chalkboard, the entails underneath the little desks / seats.

Love it.

Death and destruction and blood and tears.

Makes us feel good.

Or some of us. Because who’s going into that school?

The killer.

Also chosen by lottery.

A card-carrying member of the NRA.

Litany for the Feast of All Saints

Rest in peace, all souls,
Those that have done with care and suffering,
Those that have fulfilled a happy dream,
Those sated with life, those scarcely born...
All who have passed from this world to the Beyond,
All souls, rest in peace.

Souls of loving-hearted maidens,
Those who shed uncounted tears,
Whom false lovers deserted,
And the blind world cast out...
All who have departed hence,
All souls, rest in peace.

And those that have never smiled on the sunshine,
But beneath the moon waited, on thorns,
To see God one day, face to face
In the pure light of Heaven...
All souls that have departed hence,
All souls, rest in peace.

Saturday, July 21, 2012

Should Men Be Allowed?

I know, I know….
That’s a provocative question. Also ironic, for two obvious reasons: I’m a man, my spouse is a man. Hardly the likely person to be asking the question.
Well, I did, right there in my black armchair, as I was cheating at electronic Sudoku. Yes, you can cheat—my version of iPad Sudoku allows you three wrong answers and will still declare you a winner. So, hey, why not? And I give you this tip—added value, as we used to say in Wal-Mart!—to help you along. Your guess should always be for the little box that helps you the LEAST! If putting the 8 in the lower-right hand box would give the next three answers—don’t. Put it in the lower left box—which gets you nothing. Most of the time you’ll be right. If you’re wrong, well, you have two more guesses AND those three other answers.
See?
By cheating, I manage to play expert Sudoku (I say this with pride) and win most of the time.
Today…I lost. 
OK, it doesn’t make me a bad person, as Jeanne used to say. And then I wondered—maybe it does. Not losing, but cheating. Jack wouldn’t have approved.
It was that old rigid morality I wrote about in Iguanas. That fire and brimstone, sulfurous hellfire, miserable sinner stuff. Didn’t believe in it, but he was still shot full of it….
I wondered about it because I was pondering an email Cousin Ruthie sent me—and when she writes, you read! (She correctly diagnosed Santorum—“a lizard!”—and is bang-on about Romney—“a snake in the grass!”) She had read a post about Lexapro 20mg po qd. And then remembered her nursing days. (She held out three years, I managed a decade….)
Well, both of us remember some of the same stuff—the endless notes we had to do to cover our asses, writing out medication charts at 3AM, those funny Latin abbreviations: qd, qid, tid, PO, SQ. She also remembers the guy who tried to grab her boobs every time she walked in the room….
She asks—anyone try that on me?
Errr…no.
And she mentions Clarence Thomas, and how her parents were shocked when she assured them that of course he had come on to Anita Hill, and then told them about her nursing days.
Well, her father and mine were cousins. But they both had that morality thing. And then I remembered the female colleague of Jack’s who approached my mother on the day of Jack's memorial service.
“I want you to know, John Newhouse was the only male reporter that EVERY woman felt comfortable with alone in the news room at night….”
Franny was shocked.
I’m shocked. 
And Clarence Thomas? Well, I believe Anita for one reason.
I don’t believe any woman could invent the story of a pubic hair on a Coke can.
Frankly, the whole thing is drenched with testosterone. And only an androgen-flooded mind could conceive of it.
So that got me thinking about the four guns James Holmes purchased to kill the 12 / injure the 71 in Aurora, Colorado yesterday.*
They were purchased legally, and the vendors correctly performed the necessary background check!
Well, GREAT!
How relieved the families of the 12 / 71 victims must feel! What solace to know that your loved one had been slaughtered / maimed with legal weapons! One imagines them at the graveyard, peering down six feet at the coffin. Mother bursts into sobs, Father holds her, and whispers, “But at least the guns were legal!”
She fishes for the handkerchief, dries her eyes, squares her shoulders, and looks brightly into the future!
And here’s where I asked the question—should men be allowed? 
Nor was it the case that I asked the question because James Holmes is a man. (Although name me, Dear Readers, one massacre committed by a woman….)
Yeah, he’s a guy. He’s also emerging—I write this in case you’ve just come out of 24-hour seclusion—as one of the most dangerous of the schizophrenics.
Bright, tightly wound, wildly violent. 
OK—circle around. Is the US the only place that produces this type of schizophrenic?
Don’t think so.
We may be, however, the one place in the world that reveres guns to such an extent that we allow them on our streets.
That delicate last sentence may be a disservice to the 12 / 71 of Aurora. 
How’s this?
A man’s gun is his dick. And nothing, nothing, NOTHING will take that away from him!
Breathe, Marc….
_____________________
*These numbers correspond to the original figures and may have been updated since.