Monday, June 16, 2014

A Blogger Proposes Marriage

As proof of our suitability to marry, I bring you the following dialogue, ten days ago:
Raf: Did you hear about Wisconsin?
Raf: Absolutely!
I admit it, as a child I used to wonder at my parents, who could telescope an entire conversation into about six words. Now I totally get it, because who needs to do the whole thing, which would be:
Raf: Did you hear about Wisconsin?
Marc: Yeah, isn’t that great? You think there’s a federal judge out there who’s willing to support a same-sex ban?
Raf: Nah…
Marc: Hey, wanna get married in the Period Garden Park?
Raf: Absolutely!
OK—it’s happening so fast that you may have missed it, since the accurate headline would run, “Ho-hum, Another Federal Judge Strikes Down Same-Sex Marriage Ban.” But a Friday or two ago, Judge Barbara Crabb joined the parade, and issued her ruling. And she slung a few, rather crabby—sorry, had to—remarks to all those who believe in “traditional” marriage. She pointed out that, for most of humankind, marriage ha been between one man and multiple women, and was that where we wanted to revisit?
Undoubtedly, the judge had been reading this blog—I think that’s totally neat, and sorry, Judge, for poking fun at your name. (I know what that’s like, since I’ve spent a lifetime being called Marc Outhouse…)
At any rate, the judge ruled on a Friday afternoon, and then some neat stuff happened. There were the two guys who told the waitress in the pizzeria that they had just gotten married. So she told the boss, who promptly said that the food was on the house. That, of course, went viral—definitely good business move. Note—get ready for the Westboro Baptist Church, guys!
Then there was the county clerk of Milwaukee, who decided to open the clerk’s office on Saturday, a day it would normally be closed. So—this being Wisconsin—he paid for the whole thing out of his own pocket. And what’s happened to him now? He got slapped with a lawsuit, which is causing him, he says, no loss of sleep.
The predictable happened, meaning that 555 or some such number same-sex marriages took place, and then another federal judge put a stay on the ruling. So now the Wisconsin couples are in legal limbo, as are couples in various other states, including Utah and Michigan.
So, Dear Reader, you’re all invited to the Period Garden Park, on the second Saturday of June, 2015 to witness the consummation of what we started thirty-two years ago. That is…

Mr. Fernández, will you marry me?



(Here's what's NOT gonna happen!!!)

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